Why is it when I try my hardest to get by, and provide for my son that my family decides to kick me when I'm down?
I just don't get it. I know that I haven't made the smartest decisions but it really pisses me off when I'm doing good and my family just rags on me for all the negative. Also, it pisses me off to watch my mom buy things for Taylor and McKena and not ask my sister to reimburse her for it, yet when I ask her to pay for something for Tallan she tells me that I need to make sure I pay her back for it. My sister and her husband are not by any means hurting financially. Yet, its pretty clear that I am and yet I have to pay her back every dime that she spends on me. Just like she does full blown day care for my neices but its a fight everytime I ask her to watch Tallan for me.
Another thing she did today that really bothered me was when we were at my brothers house she brought up that she and Dan are moving to Georgia. My brother said that he and Becky wanted the house, and she said that Jenn and Dennis already jumped on that deal. I chimed in and said well, what about me? I could really use being able to live in the house while they're gone since I'm struggling to get by right now, it'd be a great way for me to be able to get back up on my feet. My mom and brother both pretty much laughed in my face.
Then pretty much all day my mom was trying to tell me that I needed to feed Tallan, every time he got the slightest bit fussy she was telling me to feed him. The first time I proved her wrong by showing her that all he wanted was a nap. I know my child better than anyone. I know what his cries mean. So the second time he started crying she was harping on me to feed him again. I was like "mom, we're five minutes from my house, I'll feed him when I get home" then we stopped by the store and when I came out of the store she was in the back seat feeding him his cereal pieces. Which was fine, not a big deal, until I got up to her car and she was like "See, I told you he was hungry" and I was like "Mom, I never said he wasn't hungry, I said we're right by my house, I'll feed him when I get home". So she got in the car and was going off about how I need to feed him more and how she would have pulled over if I told her that I needed to feed him. It was really starting to get on my nerves so I told her to just fucking drop it.
So just to prove her wrong, when I got home, I changed Tallan and put him in the high chair. I opened a container of peach cobbler baby food. Tallan took FOUR BITES before pushing it away and refusing to eat anything else. I recorded the whole thing to show my mom if she didn't believe me. So then I called her and told her that he only took four bites. She said that was because she was feeding him the cereal pieces while I was in the store and probably wasn't hungry at that point. I seriously wanted to scream.
Its like she completely disregards that he is Lactose-Intolerant and expects me to feed him food that is going to upset his stomach and have him up all night crying and screaming in pain. She treats me like I starve my child. Yes, my son is underweight, but that is because he doesn't get a lot of fats from regular milk and cheese, like normal babies do. It's like I do the best that I can and still it will never be good enough in anyone's eyes.
Urgh, I just needed to rant. Nothing else really happened today.
-Ash
No comments:
Post a Comment